Trusting that this body will get pregnant
Find my full online resource library to guide you through your own conscious conception journey on Becoming Mothers.
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My body and I have ridden the waves most people living in a woman’s body have ridden.
You know the ones.
My body’s experience was amplified by my many adolescent to grown years as a ballet dancer, turned (hot-power) yogi and raw-vegan juice bar “cook”, and by being the daughter of a mother in the 90s. I’m dumbfounded now by how I was able to hide behind such acceptable and even celebrated avenues of disordered eating. I allowed others to perceive what they wanted, which was a glowing example of consciousness and health.
Fast-forward some time and I transition out of the hot-power yoga studio and into the soft and magical realm of yin + Restorative practices.
To soften. This is what I’ve been learning, and practicing, and teaching to those who sometimes accidentally showed up to my class and reluctantly stayed despite not getting their workout in. (They did work though, just in a way they didn’t know they needed).
To soften so much so that my belly breathes big and wide, rather than inward and shallow as if to not let on that I live in a breathing body. Now I breathe to be known. I breathe big belly breaths and I sigh out loud with the hope that the women around me will feel the invitation to soften their bellies and let their air take up space along mine.
It was the idea of eating animals after years of plant-based eating (rooted in rotten roots of restriction) that shook me down. I would be a vegan mother and birth a vegan baby, and that was final.
Except that isn’t what I or my body actually wanted. Deep inherited wounding came forth* to show me that to choose stay small was to diminish my power, and I envisioned myself a powerful mother.
*I don’t mean to say this casually and will soon share writings of the ancestral healings my preconception journey has required of me.
I would be a mother that could be wild, feral even. I would howl and seduce and dance, and I would eat, offering my beautiful body what it asked for to grow as mother as mother grows baby.
How to trust that this body will get pregnant:
1. Awakening my appetite for life.
I began nourishing myself like I was already pregnant. Being a well-fed woman is an empowering act of deep self care, love, and even rebellion. After much detangling, I released my attachment to veganism and now enjoy eating what I want and need when I want or need it. To know that I am choosing to support my body and my womb without bounds is a specific freedom I would not have found if not for this preconception portal.
This is a relationship that goes both ways. My body now trusts me and I trust my body. Here are other ways we’re working together, this body and mine ~
2. Honoring my Cycle.
This monthly bleed is a report card. It is an intimate and intelligent look into my body’s wellbeing. I am still getting to know this blood and getting curious about how it is communicating with me. There is so much more wealth here than the disappointment we may initially feel when our blood comes.
How can you ritualize your bleed, accept it and honor it even when it comes when you don’t want it to? This monthly ritual must include beautiful, rich, maybe even lavish self-care. Listen to your body and let her guide you deeper.
3. Visualize.
Can you imagine the positive pregnancy test? Can you see your swollen belly? Be honest. There have been moments when I couldn’t see it for myself. So, if you can’t, get curious about what might be blocking your vision. My experience has told me that these are your paths to healing.
Practice: hold your womb and envision your baby inside of it. How do you feel in your pregnant body? What is holding you back from fully embracing this version of yourself right now?
4. Avoid Early Pregnancy Tests.
If there was ever a tool to rip you from your body’s wisdom while you’re trying to conceive, it is the early pregnancy test, (and all of your google searches). Anytime I’ve taken an early test I have been disappointed that I didn’t allow my body the time it needed to communicate with me clearly. You can’t rush your body’s process, even with a rushed test.
5. Creative Expression.
This body wants to create! Be it life, or art, or music, or movement, or books, or outfits, or knitted clothes for your future baby. Tapping into the abundant creative energy of my sacral has been a beautiful practice of co-creating with this life.
You have a womb and are therefore connected to an infinite source of creation. Don’t halt living creatively out of fear of using up your stores. On the contrary, intentionally and actively create the rich life you envision welcoming your baby into. Preconception is a potent time for growth and change.
6. Communicate with Your Baby.
Whether or not you have ever felt a spiritual connection to your unborn child, this is still for you. Communicating with them can look however feels comfortable: write to them, build them an alter you visit and bring gifts to, sing them a song your mama sang to you as a little one, tell them you love them, let them know you’re here and you’re ready whenever they are, tell them about your partner and the family they’ll be joining... there’s no wrong way to open this channel of communication.
An abundance of beautiful reassurance is available when dropping in with the spirits of our children. Now is a precious time to open this connection and speak your heart and your intentions. Know too that our babies are also working, growing and healing in order to prepare themselves to arrive earthside. Trust they hear you & maybe you will start hearing them, too.
I share my story to invite you to embrace your own. As a reminder that your body needs you - not as a critic but as a beloved parter, working in tandem towards a healthy pregnancy.
Where ever you are on your journey towards motherhood, I wish for you to slow down and find ways to reconnect, nourish and love this life-creating vessel you’ve been gifted.
Take these affirmations with you if you find them supportive:
Always: Thank you, Body. I love you.
Mealtime: Thank you to this meal. May my body receive the gift of this deep nourishment with love and gratitude.
Ovulation time: My Body is vibrant and fertile. I will get pregnant.
Challenging body image days: Thank you Body for keeping me safe, active and healthy. I love you for all you allow me to do
Preconception time: Thank you Body, for growing and changing with me so we will be ready to welcome baby into our safe and healthy womb.
Don’t hesitate to reach out directly to me to connect, to share your experience - both the challenges and the joys. I am here for you & with you.
xx,
roe